Awakenings
by Serena B
Summary: A Celena fic. Will her brother eventually come to accept her for who she is? Will she ever live a happy normal life with one she loves? COMPLETE
1. Part One

Standard Disclaimer: Escaflowne and it's characters don't belong to me.  I'm merely borrowing them.  Any other characters are from my own imagination.  I only write this stuff for fun, I don't make any money off of it, so please don't sue me.

AN:  This is the third side story to Finding Her Roots.  Like the others, it can stand alone, but it also ties into the timelines of the other fics.

Awakenings

 She felt as if she had slept for years, and in a way she had.  At first Celena was very confused, but after a couple of weeks, she was almost feeling normal…whatever that was.  At least she no longer needed to rest as much, and her body had regained most of its strength.

She didn't really remember anything that had happened while she had been 'asleep'.  Sometimes she would get a strange feeling in her mind, almost as if she were on the verge of remembering something important, but then it would go away as suddenly as it had come.  It was an uncomfortable feeling.  Sometimes she felt if she were living in some kind of dream; everything felt numb and surreal to her.  Most of her days were spent reading in the library or in the garden when Allen finally allowed her out of doors.

Sometimes Princess Eries, a good friend of her brother's, would come and visit with her.  Celena liked Eries very much; she was always so very kind to her.  The truth was the princess was pretty much the only company Celena had other than the servants and the crew of her brother's ship, the Crusade; Allen apparently didn't care much for visitors.  Also, he was often occupied with work which kept him away from home a good deal.  The relationship between her brother and herself was somewhat strained.  Allen seemed to be deliberately avoiding her, which was odd in Celena's opinion for he had seemed so happy to have found her again after such a long absence.  He had explained to her that she had been stolen away from her home as a young girl; she had vague memories of crying in a darkened cell and of a beastman that had been her only friend.  But the time between then and now remained a blank in her mind.  Whenever she would ask Allen, he would look uncomfortable and then tell her that it was for the best that she focus on the future and forget the past.

It was on a morning very much like any other when Celena found out the horrible truth of the matter.  She was just opening the door to the library when hushed voices caught her attention causing her to pause.  Princess Eries and her brother seemed to be having an argument of some sort, but that was nothing new.  They often disagreed on things.

"She doesn't remember, Eries.  Why should I tell her?  It could destroy her; she's still so fragile."

The princess sighed in exasperation.  "Honestly, Allen, you can't keep it from her forever.  She'll find out one way or another; don't you think it would be better for her to find out from you than from some careless servant?"

Allen was about to answer when he noticed the object of their discussion standing in the doorway to the library.

A slightly panicked expression crossed her face as she realized her brother had seen her. "I'm sorry, I should have knocked.  I didn't hear anything; I wasn't listening, I swear!"  Celena knew how much the princess detested eavesdropping, as she was often reprimanding her brother for that very thing.  And, in truth, she had just arrived a moment before Allen had spotted her, so the few things she had heard she hadn't understood anyway.  That didn't really qualify as eavesdropping in her mind.

Allen and Princess Eries shared a look.  The princess seemed to be silently trying to convey some message to her brother through her eyes.  Finally Allen sighed and told Celena to come in and have a seat next to Eries on the couch.  Celena was puzzled by their behavior, but she did as Allen asked.  When she was settled Allen sighed deeply and began to tell her a story of a terrible war that had occurred while she had been 'away'.  She sat and listened to the awful tale, all the while wondering what it had to do with her.  Then Allen told her about the children, and the sorcerers that had experimented on them and she felt the floor fall out from underneath her as realization dawned.

~*~

Celena watched the children of the staff play in the gardens as she sat comfortably in the shade of an old tree.  The book she had been reading lay open beside her, forgotten for the moment.  It had been over a month since the princess had come for a visit and Celena missed her friend dearly.  She wondered what had kept Eries away for so long.  Self consciously, she thought back to that day in the library.  It hadn't been too long after that day that Eries had stopped coming around.  Perhaps she was the cause; although, at the time the princess hadn't seemed overly repulsed by the truth.  In fact, Eries had been most concerned about Celena's reaction and had done her best to try to comfort her.  Still, the thought worried her.

The weather was beginning to turn cold and winter would soon be upon them; she pulled her shawl more tightly about her as a chill breeze swept through the area causing leaves from the tree above to break away and fall haphazardly to the earth.  She picked one up and twirled it idly in her delicate fingers.  

Someone sat down next to her and she glanced up to see who the newcomer was.  She wasn't surprised to see Allen's sergeant, Gaddes.  Lately it seemed as if everywhere she went, he turned up.  It hadn't taken her long to come the conclusion that her brother must have appointed the man to be her guard or something along those lines.  

"Somethin' wrong, kid?"

She sighed.  He had probably been watching her for some time before deciding to approach her.  "Don't you have more important things to do than follow me around?"

He laughed.  "Not really.  Why, do I bother you?"

She gave him an assessing look.  "No.  But surely you must be bored of such a chore."

"Nah, you're not borin'."

She rolled her eyes.  "That's _not what I meant."  She could tell by the grin on his face that he had probably known that and had chosen to misunderstand her on purpose.  Nonetheless, his grin proved to be infectious and she found herself smiling back._

"You look pretty when you smile," he commented.  She felt her cheeks flush in embarrassment.  

"Thanks.  You do too.  I mean you look nice and um, masculine or something…er…oh bother."  She hid her face in her hands.  Beside her she could hear him chuckling.

He laughed for a good five minutes as she continued to hide.  

"Are you finished laughing at me yet?" she asked, her voice slightly muffled by her hands.  

"Guess so," he answered.  She peeked out from between her fingers to look up at him; he was grinning down at her.  He looked as if he wanted to laugh again, but he didn't.  Slowly she removed her hands altogether.  

"Now, how about telling me why you were sittin' over here lookin' like you've lost your best friend."

She sighed dramatically.  "It's because I _have lost my best friend.  Princess Eries hasn't come to visit in __ages and she's really the only friend I have."_

"Do you want to go up to the palace and visit her?"

Her eyes lit up.  "Oh, could we really?"

He shrugged.  "I don't see why not."

"Could we go today?  Right now?" she cried, tugging on his vest a bit in her excitement.

He laughed at her enthusiasm.  "Sure.  I'll go see about saddling a horse, ok?"

He got up to leave but she stopped him by pulling on his sleeve.  "But, what if she doesn't want to see me?  What if I'm the reason she stopped visiting?"

He laughed again and ruffled her hair playfully.  "You worry too much, kid.  Everything'll be fine.  You'll see."  Besides, he had a pretty good idea that Allen was the reason the princess was keeping to herself lately.

Celena smiled a bit uncertainly.  "I hope you're right."

A short while later they were on their way up to the palace.  Celena rode in front of Gaddes because she was afraid of falling off of the horse.  She was bundled in a heavy cloak that he had lent her.  "You all right up there, kid?"  

She nodded causing her head to bump his chin.  "Why do you call me that?"

"Sorry, does it offend you?  If it does, I'll stop."

"No.  It doesn't bother me.  I was just wondering why."

He grinned.  "It's a nickname I always called my youngest sister when she was real little."

"You have sisters?"  She was suddenly curious.  The man had been following her around for the past few months, but she knew almost nothing about him.

"Oh, I have a whole passel of them; two older and three younger.  The youngest is around your age, actually.  I'm the only boy out of the bunch."

She smiled secretly to herself.  "That must be why you get along with girls so well.  Could I meet them some time?"

"I suppose, if it's alright with your brother, I could take you there for a visit some time.  The three youngest still live at home, but my older sisters are both married and have families of their own.  I'm an uncle, ya know."

Celena giggled.  "No, I didn't know."  She sighed.  "Sometimes I wish my brother were more like you are."

"How do ya mean?"

"He doesn't talk to me very much.  I mean, he makes sure I'm healthy, and that I have enough to eat and beautiful dresses to wear…but we never really talk.  Not like you and I are talking now.  And sometimes I catch him looking at me funny.  I don't want to be a burden to him, and I feel like I am."

He smiled.  Celena Schezar was very different from her brother; she was open and honest with her feelings unlike Allen who seemed to spend most of his time running away from them.  "Your brother has never been very…social, Celena.  He's always kept to himself, at least as long as I've known him."  He was quiet for a minute before asking, "What sorts of things do you wanna talk with him about?"

"Things," she replied so quietly that he had to lean closer to hear what she was saying.  "He's keeping things from me because he thinks he's trying to protect me.  He's told me about the horrible things that happened while I was sleeping in my mind.  I know about…._him.  And I think that people must hate me very much for the things he did.  I've heard some of the servants whispering, you know.  But, excepting that one time, Allen never talks about it, like he wants to pretend that nothing ever happened.  I think that's why he avoids me."_

Gaddes sighed.  He didn't know what to say to the girl.  Perhaps she was right and Allen was deliberately avoiding her, but who was he to nose about in the Boss's affairs?  Not like he hadn't planned on doing just that when visiting Eries; it was high time the princess admitted to herself she had a thing for Allen.  But that was a different matter altogether.  And besides, he wasn't going to be meddling in Allen's affairs; technically he was going to be meddling in Eries'.

"Sergeant Gaddes?"  The sound of Celena's voice brought him out of his thoughts.

He grinned.  Damn, but the girl was polite.  "Just Gaddes is fine, Celena."

"Gaddes…I was just thinking…"  

Again her voiced dropped almost to a whisper, once more causing him to lean forward.  She turned unexpectedly and he suddenly found himself almost nose to nose with her.  Her delicate skin was flushed, although whether from her own embarrassment or from the wind was hard to tell.  He stared into her eyes marveling at the shade of blue.  Watching her from a distance she had seemed merely pretty, but upon closer examination he decided that she really was beautiful.  He blinked rapidly, more than a bit disconcerted at the direction his thoughts were headed he backed up leaving a comfortable amount of space between them.  

He glanced back down at her and caught her shy smile.  "I should very much like it if we could be friends."

Gaddes returned her smile.  "I thought we already were, kid."

Later that night at dinner Celena told Allen about her trip to the palace.  Allen nodded at appropriate intervals, all the while making a mental note to have a little talk with his sergeant about taking his sister on impromptu trips up to the palace.

"So, can I, Allen?"

He blinked.  "Hmm?"

Celena sighed.  "You weren't even listening to me, were you?"

"Of course I was."  Gods' truth, he was trying to do right by her and see her raised well but sometimes his sister refused to cooperate with his plans.

"Then what was I talking about?"

He ignored her question and asked one of his own.  "Why don't you want to go to parties and meet ladies of your own class?"

She frowned.  "Because I don't know them."

Allen let out an exasperated sigh.  "Don't be ridiculous.  You don't know Gaddes' sisters either, might I remind you."

"Yes but, I know Gaddes and he's told me all about his sisters…it's almost as if I do know them."  Her protest was weak and she knew it, but she refused to give in to Allen this time.  She was tired of obeying his every command.  Celena mirrored her brother's stubborn gaze and they found themselves in a staring match that lasted for several minutes.

Finally Allen relented.  "Alright, I'll make you a deal."  He watched his sister's eyes alight with hope and he suddenly felt guilty for trying to deny her what she wanted.  It was, after all, such small things she asked for.  But, he was just so afraid of losing her again that he didn't want to take any chances.  "We've been invited by the queen to a party up at the palace to celebrate the completion of the restoration of the housing areas that were destroyed during the war.  If you go with me to that event, then you may visit Gaddes' family, provided you can obtain a proper chaperone to go along with you."

Her emotions warred between her delight at Allen conceding and the disappointment of being able to meet his conditions.  He knew very well that Eries was her only friend and she found it highly unlikely that the princess would be able to accompany her on such a venture.  "Couldn't you come with us, Allen?"

"Celena, you know how busy I am; I have no time for such matters."

She felt her heart sink at the realization that she would probably not be able to go after all.

Two days later found Celena at the palace, once again visiting with Princess Eries.  She had asked Gaddes to bring her the day before, but he had said he would have to ask her brother first if it would be alright.  Apparently his wish to accommodate her the other day had caused him to receive some sort of reprimand from Allen.  She couldn't help but feel guilty as she had been the cause of the trouble, so she had disappointedly agreed to wait.

Upon arriving in the princess' quarters for afternoon meal, she lost no time in coming to the point of her visit and immediately launched into the tale.  Her distress was clear from the wrinkle in her brow.

"Can we go, Eries?  Please say you'll come with us.  Allen won't let me go otherwise.  I'd ask someone else…but you and Gaddes are my only friends."  

Eries' heart went out to the girl.  She thought it was a great idea for Celena to be getting out and making new friends.  "Alright, I agree to come along.  We're only staying one night though.  Despite what you may think, there are things that I have to get done at the palace every now and then."

Celena laughed and hugged Eries, who was caught a little off guard by the normally shy girl's show of affection.  Celena pulled back with a worried expression.  "I'm sorry.  I shouldn't have done that."

Eries smiled gently at the girl.  "Nonsense; I was just surprised."

She returned the princess' smile in response.  Eries was glad to see the girl happy.  She hoped that things would turn out well for her, as much as for Celena's sake as for Allen's.  They both deserved some happiness in their lives.

AN:  I was originally going to make this fic a one-shot, but due to the fact that it is growing in mammoth proportions (at least for me) I've decided to break it up into a couple of parts.  Reviews would very much be appreciated.

Serena B


	2. Part Two

Standard Disclaimer: Escaflowne and it's characters don't belong to me.  I'm merely borrowing them.  Any other characters are from my own imagination.  I only write this stuff for fun, I don't make any money off of it, so please don't sue me.

Awakenings

Part Two

Allen was rather surprised that Eries had decided to chaperone Celena.  A part of him thought that the princess had probably done it to annoy him as that seemed to be one of her favorite hobbies; another part of him hoped that perhaps Eries had truly become fond of his sister.  He hoped that was the case.  Eries was just the sort of role model he wanted for his sister; she was everything he thought a lady should be. Well, she was perhaps a little opinionated, but he found that he rather liked sparring with her, much to his own chagrin.  

"Brother?"

Celena's voice brought him out of his reverie.  He smiled gently at her.  "I'm a man of my word, Celena.  After Queen Millerna's party you may visit with Gaddes' family whenever it is convenient for everyone."

Celena was quiet all afternoon.  Gaddes thought she'd be in a good mood since Eries had agreed to accompany them to his home but she seemed sullen instead. The melancholy atmosphere was unnerving him a bit.  He took a seat next to her on the bench.

"Somethin's botherin' you."

She reached up to tuck a stray lock of hair behind her ear and let out a small sigh.  "No…I was just thinking, that's all."

He grunted.  "That can be dangerous, ya know."

Again she remained quiet, which Gaddes thought was unusual; normally she would have responded to his joke.  He nudged her shoulder with his own.

"Care to talk about it?"

She drew a heavy sigh.  "It's just that…I don't want to go to the Queen's party.  But I promised Allen I would.  He said that he'd keep his end of the bargain, which means that I also have to keep mine.  I'm afraid of making a fool out of myself, though."

He was quiet for a minute.  "That's not the only thing that's keepin' you from goin', is it?"

Her eyes widened with surprise.  "No, it's not.  I'm afraid what they'll think of me.  I don't know how many people know the truth, but even if it were a few…I don't want people to talk, Gaddes." 

He admitted that when Allen had first told him the story behind his sister's mysterious return, he almost hadn't believed the truth.  It was shortly after Celena had been 'found' that he had learned about the circumstances surrounding her reappearance.  Allen had been drinking rather heavily one night, he had had a few himself, although not as many as his friend.  Allen told him everything.  Gaddes had thought that Allen had been going through a difficult time, but he never imagined how difficult.  No wonder the man was drinking.  Gaddes respected Allen and his loyalty naturally extended to Celena.  He told himself that was the only reason why it bothered him so much when she said things like that. 

"If those stuffed shirts can't accept you for yourself…than I say forget about them.  You shouldn't worry about tryin' to impress people like that anyway."

"I'm not worried for me…I'm worried for Allen.  He's worked hard to get to where he is; I wouldn't want to cause him any trouble or embarrassment. Sometimes I think that Allen doesn't like me very much, that maybe things would be better for him if I weren't around."

"That's bullsh—crap," he said loudly, startling Celena.  "The boss cares about you; if you would have seen the way he worried over you when you were first brought home then you'd realize just how much the man cares.  He might not be the best person at expressin' his feelin's, but that doesn't mean the feelin's aren't there, kid."

"Are you angry with me?"

He sighed.  Perhaps he had gotten a bit carried away, but he hadn't liked hearing her say such things.  "No, I'm not angry with you.  I'm sorry I yelled; it's just that you shouldn't think that way."

A small wrinkle formed on her brow.  "What way?"

"That you don't matter to anyone.  The truth is that there are a lot of people that would be upset if you weren't around."

Her eyes softened as she smiled at him.  "Thanks, Gaddes.  I think I needed to hear that to believe it."

She sighed and fastened her cloak a bit tighter in an effort to keep out the chill autumn air.  She shifted slightly closer to Gaddes' warmth.  

"Are you cold?"

"A little bit," she admitted.  

"We should probably go inside before you come down with somethin'."  He went to stand but she pulled on the sleeve to his jacket.  

"I don't want to go inside just yet.  After being shut up inside nearly all summer it's such a wonderful thing to be out of doors.  Sometimes I wish I were outside always, with the sun shining on me and a soft breeze making the trees rustle just so.  I think I don't like closed up spaces very much."  She shivered then, more because of some distant memory than because of the cold.

_Damn those Zaibach bastards, he swore silently to himself.  He tried not to imagine what kind of horrid childhood she must have had, and he was glad that she couldn't remember much about it._

"Alright, we can stay outside a little longer.  But, if you get sick because of this don't say that I didn't warn you."

He shifted on the bench and pulled her back towards him until she was leaning against his chest.  She could feel the warmth from his body even through the heavy fabric of her cloak.  Content, she closed her eyes.

She didn't realize that she had fallen asleep until she felt him nudging her awake with the announcement that it would be getting dark soon.  She blinked, trying to clear the confusion from her head.  Then she remembered.  She looked up to see Gaddes watching her with an amused smile.

"What?"

"You drool in your sleep."

She momentarily looked horrified before she realized that he was teasing her.  "Ladies do not drool.  And gentlemen certainly wouldn't mention it if they were to, anyway."

Gaddes only laughed at her haughty expression.  "Good thing I'm not a gentleman then." 

They stood then and headed towards the house.  

"By the way, I won't be here tomorrow.  The boss said I could have the day off so I'm goin' to visit my sisters.  I just wanted to let you know."

Celena smiled.  "I'm glad you get to go home, you must be so happy to be able to see your family again."  Then her smile faltered.  "I'm sorry that I take up so much of your time.  If it weren't for me, then you could be with them more."

Gaddes laughed.  "That's not likely.  The boss would find somethin' for me to do with my time.  Anyway, don't be so hard on yourself."

Celena nodded.  "Well, I hope you have a good time, even though I'll miss your company while you're away."

"Gaddes!"  

He heard his youngest sister's squeal a split second before she launched herself into his arms.  She had grown in his absence, and a momentary pang of guilt went through him as he thought about how much he had missed seeing his youngest sister growing up in the time that he had been away.  Despite their age difference, he had always been closest with Alyssann, perhaps because she had always been such a little tomboy, running around in breeches and carrying on so.  He grinned as he remembered what a little hellion his sister had been as a child.  His mother had been exasperated by her while Gaddes had laughed at her antics which only served to encourage her behavior.  When he had last visited, a little more than a year ago, he had almost been disappointed that she had finally gotten an interest in wearing dresses, but he supposed it was a good thing that she was finally growing up.  

He laughed and swung her around before settling her on the ground in front of him.  "You must have gained twenty pounds since I was last home, Lyss."

"Have not!"  She hit him on the arm and stuck her tongue out at him.  No matter how much things changed, he was glad that some things always stayed the same.

He chuckled again.  "You've got dirt all over you.  What have you been doin'?  Fightin' a losing battle with the ground?"

She giggled, her brown eyes sparkling with mirth.  "No, silly.  I was workin' in the garden.  The last of those big squash were ready to be brought in.  I'm goin' to make a pie with them."

He grinned.  "I knew I was stoppin' by at just the right time.  Are Genna and Hettie home?"

"Genna's inside.  Hettie's workin' up at the palace as a maid now."

Gaddes frowned.  "Workin?  What happened to all the money I sent home?"

Lyssie latched onto her brother's arm as they walked towards the house.   "The house was sorely in need of some work.  Melly's husband came and helped put a new roof on last fall, but…the place was practically fallin' down around us."

Gaddes was quiet for a minute.  "I'm sorry, Lyss.  I guess I haven't been there for you girls like I should have."

She smiled up at him.  "It's alright.  You've done the best you could by us, Gaddes.  None of us fault you, so stop blamin' yourself."  She grabbed his hand and pulled him towards the door.  "Come on.  I'll get you somethin' to drink."

He let her lead him up to the house and into the kitchen.  He sat down at the table as she fetched a glass from the cupboard and filled it with water from a jug that was sitting on the table.  She then left the room and let out a yell.  "Genna!  We have company in the kitchen!"  She then came back in the room, a grin plastered on her face.

Gaddes shook his head.  "Are you ever goin' to learn to be more lady-like?"

She rolled her eyes.  "Why would I wanna do that?  So that I can catch the eyes of some man and eventually settle down?"

He grinned.  "Somethin' like that."

"Argh.  Not you, too.  That's all Hettie's been talking about lately."

Genna entered the room then, and cried out when she spotted her brother.  "Gaddes, it seems like forever since you've been home."  

She was the complete opposite of Alyssann, both in looks and in temperament.  Her hair was honey colored, while Lyssie had dark hair like their brother.  Genna was quiet and shy where Alyssann was more outgoing.  The only thing they seemed to share was the chocolate brown eyes they had both inherited from their father.  

Gaddes greeted Genna with a hug.  "I've missed you, Brother."

"I've missed you girls, too."  He waited for his sisters to sit down before taking his own seat.  "I'd like to bring someone to meet you.  She's—" 

"She?  Gaddes, are you thinking of settling down?"

Genna's question set Lyssie to giggling, Gaddes just rolled his eyes.  "It's not like that.  Celena's the sister of my commander.  After I told her about you girls she said she'd like nothin' better than to meet you."

"How old is she?" Genna asked.

"Um…fifteen I think."

"That's the same as me," Lizzie stated enthusiastically.  "Well, Brother dear, I think you should bring the poor girl here at once before she perishes of boredom, for surely her own home is not as entertainin' as ours."

Genna laughed.  "Don't be overdramatic, Lyssie."

"What's to be overdramatic about?  We're to have a real lady as a guest, Gen.  I imagine she's dainty.  Oh, and I'm sure her gown will be stunnin'.  How shall we compare?  I'll have to get my hair done.  I'll have to buy a new dress just for the occasion."

"That's enough, Alyssann," Gaddes said, his voice firm.  Lyssie looked rather surprised to have been reprimanded.  "Celena's not like that.  She's…special.  You'll see when you meet her.  I'll also be bringin' her friend along as chaperone and all that."  He neglected to tell them that Celena's 'friend' also happened to be Princess Eries.  He could just imagine what Lyssie's reaction to that would be.

Genna looked at him curiously.  "Gaddes, you've never brought a girl home before.  Are you sure this isn't something serious?"

"Don't be silly," Lyssie admonished.  "Our brother wouldn't be foolish enough to get involved with his boss's sister."

"Right," Gaddes agreed, although some part of him wondered if perhaps he wasn't a bit of a fool after all.

Celena came down the stairs carefully trying to avoid tripping over the hem of her gown.  Allen had ordered the new dress simply for the occasion and this one was quite a bit longer than her other dresses, its hem falling almost all the way to the floor.  Its pastel blue color complimented her eyes and her pale skin and hair.  A maid had pinned her short silvery locks close to her head and dressed them with ribbons that matched the darker blue trim of her gown.  She had to admit that the transformation was quite dramatic.  For once she thought she looked the part of Lady Celena Shezar, even if she didn't particularly feel like she fit that role.  

"You polish up all right, kid," Gaddes commented with a wink when Celena reached the bottom of the stairway.  "Nervous?"

She nodded.  "I wish you could come with us, Gaddes.  I would feel better if you were there."

He grinned.  "Could you really imagine me hobnobbin' with all those bluebloods?"

She looked at him for a moment before replying.  "Not really; but most of them probably aren't half as kind as you are."

They heard footsteps from above and turned to see Allen coming down the stairs carrying Celena's cloak in his arms.  Reaching the bottom, he put it gently around her shoulders and fastened the clasp in the front for her.

"I'm not a child, you know.  You don't have to dress me," she muttered crossly.

Allen's eyes widened momentarily and Celena could have sworn that he had looked hurt by her attitude.  But then, he seemed to regain his composure, his face once again becoming an unreadable mask.  

"Of course," he said, taking a step back from her.  

She glanced at Gaddes, and he shot her a disappointed look.  Perhaps she had been unfair to Allen, snapping at him like that when he was only trying to be kind to her.  

"I'm sorry, Allen.  I didn't mean to sound so angry…I'm just nervous about tonight."

He accepted her apology with an understanding smile.  "Well, let's go then, or we'll be more than fashionably late."

Celena was more than a bit intimidated by her surroundings.  She had been to the palace many times by now, but only to visit with Eries in her private quarters where it was usually just the two of them and occasionally a handmaid hovering in the background.  Entering the formal dining hall she suddenly felt overwhelmed.  Despite the fact that Allen had told her it would be a small celebration, the room seemed to be filled with guests.  Being surrounded by so many strangers made her uncomfortable and she instinctively tried to hide behind her brother.  Allen steered her towards the Queen and King with a firm grip on her elbow as if he thought that she might try to bolt at any moment, which she admitted was a real possibility if he actually let go of her long enough for her to get away.

She made a very low curtsy and almost tumbled to the floor, much to her own embarrassment.  Luckily, Allen had reached out to steady her before she toppled over completely.  She righted herself and introductions were made.  She had never been formally introduced to Millerna and Dryden and especially nervous meeting them.  Dryden was charming, but Millerna seemed uncomfortable with her presence.

There was an awkward pause.  _They know, Celena thought sadly. __ Or, at least Millerna does; I can tell by the way she won't meet my eyes… _

After greeting their hosts, Allen pulled Celena along towards a group of ladies that were talking amongst themselves.  Upon noticing that Sir Allen Schezar was headed towards them they began to fuss about themselves, patting their hair into place and pinching their cheeks.  Celena found their reaction to her brother almost comical, while Allen didn't seem to notice their primping at all.  Introductions were made and Celena was quickly forgotten as the ladies took turns bombarding her brother with questions and compliments, each trying to hold his attention for their selves.  She let out a sigh and discreetly made her way to a couch in the corner of the room.  She looked around for Eries, but the princess seemed to be absent.  She wondered if it was Allen's presence keeping her away.  After her first visit to the palace she had come to the conclusion that if it hadn't been her that Eries was avoiding, than it must have been her brother.  

Not more than a few moments passed before Allen came to fetch her, admonishing her for running off.  Celena was a bit surprised that he had been able to disentangle himself so quickly to come after her.  

"Why don't you try to make friends with those girls I introduced you to?" he suggested.

She didn't want to tell him that those primping little bubble-headed ladies were not really her idea of company.  

"They seemed more interested in talking to you than to me," Celena pointed out instead.

"Perhaps so," he allowed.  "We'll just have to find you someone else to talk with," he announced.  It was going to be a long night.

She knew Allen didn't like these types of social events and she had been wondering why he had seemed so adamant about attending.  As he took her around the room and introduced her to various nobles the answer gradually became clear; he was doing it for her.  He was trying to see that she fit in where she belonged.  Gaddes was right; her brother cared about her.  Suddenly she was overwhelmed with emotion.  Allen did want what was best for her.  He might not be great at expressing himself with words, but he tried to make up for it in his deeds, misguided though they might be.

A lady in a bright purple gown turned to her with a concerned expression.  "Lady Celena, are you alright?"

She blinked, just now noticing the tears coursing down her cheeks.  _I'm more than alright, she thought__, my brother loves me._

AN:  Ok, I think this fic is going to wind up being four parts when it's all said and done.  Geez, I only wanted to write a little side story.  *grumbles*  Oh well.   ;P 

Anyway, I'd like to thank everyone that has reviewed; your comments help to keep me focused.

Serena B


	3. Part Three

Standard Disclaimer: Escaflowne and it's characters don't belong to me.  I'm merely borrowing them.  Any other characters are from my own imagination.  I only write this stuff for fun, I don't make any money off of it, so please don't sue me.

Awakenings

Part Three

Allen turned to see the tears running down his sister's face and immediately went to her side.  "What's wrong?"

Celena only shook her head and continued to cry.  She threw her arms around him and started sobbing into his shoulder.  Allen patted her awkwardly on the back while onlookers gathered to watch the spectacle.  He was confused and worried by her display of emotion.  Suddenly, he wanted nothing more to get her the hell out of there.

Millerna made her way through the crowd towards them, a concerned expression on her face.  "Is everything all right?"  

Allen shook his head.  "I'm sorry, you'll have to excuse us.  My sister is not well."  He guided her gently towards the door, trying to ignore the Queen's baffled expression and the murmur of the crowd.  Neither of them spoke until they were in the carriage on their way home.  By then Celena's tears had slowed though her eyes remained unusually bright and her skin was flushed.  He moved to sit next to her so that he could feel her forehead; as he had feared, her skin was hot to the touch.

"I'm sorry, Allen.  I feel silly for carrying on like that.  What will people think of me now?"

He brushed a stray lock of hair away from her face.  "Don't worry about it, Celena.  You're not feeling well, are you?"

"I'm all right, just a little dizzy perhaps."

"I'm sorry I forced you to go tonight, I knew you didn't want to, but still I—"

"Don't be sorry.  If I wouldn't have gone I wouldn't have realized…."  She rested her head against his shoulder and closed her eyes.  "We were close as children, but now we are strangers.  I thought for many months that you only took care of me because it was your duty.  Even though Gaddes kept telling me I was wrong, until tonight I never thought that you really cared about me.  After all, how could anyone love me after…everything I've been through?  Who would want to?"

Listening to her, Allen felt a pang of guilt.  He had forgotten what it had been like to be a big brother.  Maybe he was going about things all wrong; it wouldn't be the first time.  He sighed and looked down at Celena; she was fast asleep.  She looked so small and innocent in her sleep making it easy for him to think of her as his long lost sister instead of someone that used to be that other person, his enemy.

Gaddes heard a carriage approaching and glanced out the window to see who was arriving; they hadn't been expecting any visitors.  He was more than a little surprised to see Allen's coach pulling up in front of the house.  They were home earlier than he had been expecting them.  He hoped everything had gone all right.  Gaddes knew how worried Celena had been about tonight.  He went outside to greet them just as Allen was about to get out of the vehicle.

"Oh, Gaddes, I'm glad you're here.  Celena fell asleep on the way home, I'll hand her down to you."  The boss seemed a bit distracted to Gaddes, and again he wondered what had happened to bring them home early.  

Allen gently lifted Celena down to Gaddes.  Although she was heavy, she wasn't a burden and Gaddes thought that she still felt lighter than she should.  He also found that he didn't mind holding her so much; it almost felt natural to have her in his arms.  Quickly, he banished those thoughts before he did something reckless, like give in to his urge to kiss her.  He looked down and examined her face; her expression was peaceful but pale slivers of moonlight reflected off of her skin revealing tearstains.  He frowned.

"What happened, boss?"

Allen sighed.  "Let's get her up to her room.  I think she might be coming down with something, she felt a bit feverish to me."

Gaddes nodded and followed Allen up to Celena's bedroom, all the while cradling her sleeping form close to his body.

He set her on the bed carefully, after Allen had pulled the covers back.  He watched as Allen laid his hand on her brow, checking her temperature.  She sighed and her eyes opened halfway.  

"I'm sorry I ruined everything."

"I told you not to worry about it.  Just get some rest."

Gaddes slipped out of the room unnoticed.  He was worried about Celena of course, but Allen was with her and he would see that she was all right.  He hovered outside in the hallway for a moment, unsure if he should just go to bed or stick around in case Allen needed him for anything.  The door to Celena's room opened and Allen appeared wearing a frown. 

"Is everything all right, boss?"

"I don't think it's anything serious, but have Luce send for the doctor anyway."

Gaddes nodded and started to leave but Allen stopped him.  "I haven't been much of a brother to her, I suppose.  I apologize.  You shouldn't have had to fill in for my own inadequacies, but I'm grateful that someone is looking out for her the way she needs."

He didn't have a chance to respond before Allen went back into Celena's room, closing the door behind himself.

A few days later the doctor declared that Celena was nearly fully recovered from her illness, although Allen decided she needed to remain abed a little while longer just as a precaution.  

Gaddes had been away from the house for nearly all the time she had been ill; Allen had sent him to oversee things with the crew since he wanted to remain by his sister's side in case she needed him.  In a way, he was glad for the break in routine, for it gave him a chance to a distance himself from Celena.  But, it was an odd feeling to not have her around everyday.  He told himself that he didn't really miss her, it was only that he had gotten used to her presence; answering her questions or just watching over her as she sat quietly reading a book.  He didn't have any feelings towards her other than that of a friend.  _Brotherly feelings, he had told himself firmly.  So, of course, the first thing he did upon returning to the villa was to go and see her._

The door was opened about halfway and he popped his head in discreetly.  The curtains were pulled back and the room was flooded with late afternoon sunlight.  Celena was sitting in her big bed propped up against the headboard by a mound of soft white pillows.  Her head was bent and her brow furrowed as she concentrated on stitching a small piece of cloth in her hands.

He knocked on the door and she glanced up, her eyes widening in surprise.  "You're back," she said in greeting.  She smiled warmly and patted the bed as an invitation to have a seat.

 "How ya feelin'?"  She still looked flushed to him.

"I'm feeling much better, thank you," she replied politely.

He sat on the edge of the bed.  "What's that you're working on?"  He gestured to the scrap of cloth in her hand.

She held up the cloth for his inspection.  It was a handkerchief with his initials embroidered onto it.  

"It's for you.  I made one for Allen and he had seemed so pleased with it, I thought that I'd make one for you, also.  You've always been so kind to me, and it's the least I could do in return after all you've done for me in the past few months.  Only, I wasn't really sure that you'd like it; you don't really have the same sense of style as my brother…"  She realized she was rambling, but she couldn't seem to stop herself so she was more than grateful when he smiled at her and she lost her train of thought completely.

"You don't need to thank me, but I'll gladly accept your gift, Celena."

Tears pooled in her eyes and spilled over, gracefully trailing down her face before dropping onto the sheets.

Gaddes sighed.  He hadn't meant to make her cry, dammit.  "What're the waterworks for?"

She surprised him by smiling up at him through her tears.  "You called me Celena."

"I did what?"

"You called me by my name, instead of 'kid'."

"Er…I'm sorry, was I bein' too familiar?"

"No, it made me happy to hear you say it.  Will you say it again?"

He laughed, relieved that she hadn't been upset after all.  "Now you're just bein' silly."

"Come on, say it.  Please?"  She smiled, her eyes sparkling mischievously.  

Gaddes rolled his eyes, "Celena, Celena, Celena.  You happy now?"

She let out a delighted laugh.  "Very happy."

Her reaction made him suddenly feel shy.  "Geez.  It was nothin' to cry over, anyway."

"Are you _blushing?"_

Her question caused his face to turn a deeper shade of red.  "Of course not.  Men don't blush."

She laughed.  "You _are blushing!"_

He stood and went to the door.  "Well, I've got things to do.  I'll see ya later, kid."

The sound of her laughter followed him out into the hallway and stayed with him for the rest of the day.

Almost a week later, Allen reluctantly agreed that Celena was more than recovered and gave his permission for her to visit with Gaddes' sisters.  The plans were made quickly and they found themselves traveling out the next day.  He felt a bit awkward riding in the princess's carriage, but Eries would have it no other way.  She said that Celena deserved the best now and then, and since she had been so thoughtful as to invite her along, the least she could do was provide a comfortable and stylish means of transportation.  

Shortly after they stepped out of the carriage the door to the house was thrown open and Gaddes' sisters ran out to greet them.  Gaddes introduced his sisters to Celena and the princess, who looked like she was trying to hide a smile behind her hand.  Lyssie's eyes widened when she was introduced to Princess Eries; she made an awkward curtsy in her direction while silently cursing her brother's sense of humor for not warning them who Celena's chaperone would be.  She turned to Celena and her eyes lit up with joy.  The other girl looked to be even shyer than her sister Genna.  She felt it her own personal duty to try and bring her out of her shell.  She grabbed Celena's hands with her own and proclaimed that she hoped they would become the best of friends.

"I should very much like that," Celena said in response feeling a bit overwhelmed as Alyssann pulled her along towards the house.  Genna shook her head in exasperation and went after the two.

"Sorry, Alyssann can be a bit wild at times," Gaddes said to Eries.

The princess only laughed, her eyes twinkling with amusement.  "I know how that can be."

Celena allowed herself to be pulled along behind Alyssann.  The girl was unlike anyone she had ever met before; she was so full of energy.  Alyssann took her through the little house and finally stopped inside a small drawing room.  It had a cozy feeling to it that their larger rooms back home lacked.  She could imagine herself curling up on the well-worn little couch quite comfortably.  There was a bookcase along one wall filled with tomes.  Celena went over to inspect them, running her delicate fingers along their spines.

"Most of those are Genna's," Alyssann commented, coming to stand next to Celena.  "Gaddes bought them for her."

Genna came to stand beside her sister.  "Do you like to read?"

She smiled at the other girl.  "I do enjoy it, but I confess there isn't much else to do around the villa when you are alone most of the time."  She shrugged.  "A book can make a good enough companion, I suppose."

Alyssann's eyes widened.  "There isn't anythin' else you enjoy?  My favorite thing is bakin'.  I could make pies all day long."

Celena blushed slightly.  "I don't think I'm allowed to cook.  We have servants that take care of that, and I'm sure my brother would be horrified if I were to express an interest in it."

"Well, your brother isn't here right now.  Would you like to learn?  I could teach you," Alyssann said enthusiastically.

Gaddes intercepted them just as Alyssann was pulling Celena into the kitchen, Genna trailing behind.  "Slow down, midget.  Celena's not used to runnin' around like you are, and she was sick not long ago."

Celena turned wide blue eyes to him.  "Oh, I'm alright.  Please don't be upset with your sister." 

"I'm not upset.  I am responsible for you, though.  I promised the boss I wouldn't let anythin' happen to you."

She frowned slightly.  "You're starting to sound just like him," she mumbled.  Alyssann giggled.  Gaddes shot his sister a glare.  

Princess Eries interrupted before Gaddes had a chance to speak.  "That wasn't very nice, Celena."

The younger girl looked crushed.  She put laid her hand on Gaddes' arm.  "I'm sorry.  I only want to be like a normal girl, but no one seems to let me.  That's why I wanted to come here so much, because I thought that you wanted that for me, too.  Please, Gaddes.  I promise that if I get even a little tired I'll let you know straightaway."

Genna watched the display of emotions cross her brother's face.  She had never seen him unsure of himself.  She noticed the princess was also giving her brother a speculative look.

"Well, all right.  Maybe I was bein' a bit over protective."

Genna smiled gently.  "Don't worry, Brother.  I'll go with them and make sure Lyssie doesn't exhaust our new friend."

In the end, they all went to the kitchen together.  Genna and Princess Eries sat at the table watching Gaddes and Alyssann try to teach Celena the art of baking the perfect pie.  Gaddes didn't prove to be much help and only succeeded in spilling the flour everywhere.  Alyssann had chided him and made him sit at the table with the others after that, much to Celena's amusement.  The pies turned out well, though, and they celebrated by having them for desert.

The princess had already retired for the night and Gaddes walked Celena to the room her and Eries were sharing.  They stood in the hallway outside the door to say goodnight.  Gaddes leaned his shoulder against the wall in a relaxed pose.  Celena wanted to laugh at the flour in his hair, but she restrained herself.  

"Your sisters are wonderful."

He grinned.  "You liked them, then?"

"Oh yes.  I had so much fun with them.  I hope…"

"You hope what?"

"I hope they didn't think I was too strange."

He let out a sigh.  "Listen to me.  You aren't strange; maybe a bit silly, but that's normal for someone your age."

A small wrinkle formed in her brow.  "Sometimes it's hard to stop thinking about it, you know.  Every time I meet someone I wonder if they know about me.  It's always there, in the back of my mind."

He moved away from the wall and came to stand in front of her.  "Look, you couldn't help what happened to you.  Some bastard stole you away from your family, Celena.  They took an innocent little girl and made her into a monster.  That wasn't you.  You're still that innocent little girl.  You should stop torturin' yourself over somethin' that wasn't your fault."

She reached up and touched his face lightly with her fingertips.  He hadn't shaved that morning and the feel of his whiskers was rough against the softness of her skin.  "You really believe that, don't you?  You don't think of him at all when you see me?"

He shook his head. 

She reached up on her tip toes and brushed her mouth against his own before he knew what had happened.  

He blinked.  "What was that?"

"A good-night kiss," she said matter-of-factly.

He paused for a minute and looked down at her.  She was so innocent.  _And much too young and__ the boss' sister to boot, he reminded himself for the umpteenth time._

"Celena, I don't think it's a very good idea that we become…involved.  Let's just…be friends, ok?"

Her brow wrinkled in confusion.  "Why wouldn't it be a good idea, Gaddes?"

He gave her the very reasons he had so often told himself over the past few weeks.  "A relationship like that wouldn't be possible between us."

"But, none of that matters to me.  Besides, I think I'm falling in love with you."  

Things were just going from bad to worse.  He stepped back in an effort to put some distance between them.  "Just go to bed.  I don't have time to play these kinds of games, kid."

Her gaze dropped to the floor, but not before he saw the tears gathered in her eyes.  "I see.  Well…good-night then."  She stepped into the bedroom and closed the door softly behind herself.

_It was the right thing to do, he told himself.  Why then, had it hurt so much?_

AN:  This fic just keeps growing and growing…like Pinocchio's nose after a fib.  *sigh*  Ok, it's definitely going to be more than four parts, but hopefully I'll be able to wrap it up in five.  Geez.  I was pretty tired when I was going over this for what seemed like the billionth time, so if anything seems out of place at all, I apologize.

Thank you to my kind reviewers.  I really appreciate the feedback.  *sparkles*

Oh, one last note.  I started a fic blog.  Any updates on progress of my fics can be found there.  http://theunicornblues.blogspot.com

Serena B


	4. Part Four

Standard Disclaimer: Escaflowne and it's characters don't belong to me.  I'm merely borrowing them.  Any other characters are from my own imagination.  I only write this stuff for fun, I don't make any money off of it, so please don't sue me.

Awakenings

Part Four

She awoke the next morning with dark circles under her eyes.  Taking note of Celena's tiredness, Eries became concerned that the girl had over-excited herself the day before.  When asked, Celena only replied in a quiet voice that perhaps she _had done too much too soon.  She didn't tell the princess the real reason for her exhaustion; that she had been up most of the night tossing and turning after her encounter in the hallway._

Eries left the room to find Gaddes.  He was in the kitchen sitting at the table as his sisters worked on breakfast.  She told him that Celena had clearly worn herself out the day before and suggested that they head for home after breaking their fast.  He nodded in agreement.  After Eries left the room to fetch Celena, Alyssann turned to her brother, a worried expression on her face.

"I'm sorry, Gaddes.  I should have listened to you yesterday when you said that she had been sick.  What if it's my fault and she gets sick again?"

He gave his sister a smile that didn't quite reach his eyes.  "Don't worry, Lyssie.  She'll be alright," he reassured her.  _Besides, it's all my doing, he thought guiltily._

Genna and Alyssann exchanged looks.  Gaddes was not his usual cheery self.  What had happened?  

Genna had a feeling that her brother was more than a little in love with Celena, and thought that might have something to do with his mood this morning.  She hadn't shared her thoughts with Alyssann, however, because her younger sister was a bit impetuous at times and may have inadvertently made matters worse.  As much as he had always tried to look out for them, she had always felt a bit guilty that there had been no one looking out for him.  She thought Celena was a wonderful girl, and liked her very much.  But surely a future between the two of them would be impossible.  She sighed, hoping she was wrong, and turned back to her work.  

Alyssann didn't like the look she had seen in her brother's eyes.  For a minute he had looked very sad.  Gaddes should never be sad; he was the strong one.  He was the one that took care of things.  She frowned.  

They continued preparing the meal, both worried over their brother.

It was late afternoon when they arrived home.  Eries bid Celena and Gaddes farewell and continued on to the palace leaving the two of them alone.  Celena felt even more awkward around him without the princess' presence there to serve as a buffer.  They stood beside each other in silence for several minutes watching as Eries' carriage drove off into the distance.   A small sigh escaped Celena as it went around a bend, finally disappearing from their view.  

She was too polite to stalk off to her room without speaking to him.  Besides, she felt that she had to say _something just to ease the tension between them.  She took a deep breath and turned towards him.  She kept her eyes plastered to the floor, however, having lost the courage to face him at the last minute._

"Thank you for taking me to meet your family.  I liked them very much."  He was about to speak when she cut him off.  "I think I'm a little tired so I'll be in my room for the rest of the day."  With that, she turned on her heel and fled to the relative safety of her bedroom without a backward glance.

Gaddes was left staring after her.  He made his way to his own room, silently cursing himself.  He hadn't wanted to hurt her, but there hadn't been another option.  Her confession had caught him off guard, but he realized now that he shouldn't have been surprised by her frankness; she had always been completely open with her feelings.  He wished things were different.  He blamed himself.  He should have made an effort to put some distance between them; he shouldn't have been so friendly.  But it was unlike him to be any other way.  To be honest, his feelings towards her went deeper than friendship and that frightened him more than anything.  He didn't know how it had happened; only that sometime over the past few months he had become very attached to her.  When she was sick and he had been away from her he had found himself hard pressed not to think about her constantly.

He went into his room and closed the door behind himself.  Sitting down on the bed, he pulled his boots off and fell onto his back to stare up at the ceiling.  When had his life become so complicated?

Allen came to see Celena a few hours later when he came home.  He knocked on her door before entering, a concerned look on his face.  "Gaddes said you were tired.  You're not ill again, are you?"

She shook her head causing pale strands of wispy curls to float about her face.  "I'm fine, just tired."

He sat down on the couch next to her.  "Did you enjoy your visit?"

"Gaddes' sisters were very nice," she said carefully.

He had a feeling there was something she wasn't saying; he felt her hesitation.  He was a little disappointed that she wouldn't confide in him because he felt they had grown closer since the time of her illness.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing, Allen.  I think I want to take a nap."  She got up from the couch and made her way to the bed.  She flopped on to the bed face down on top of the covers and wrapped her arms around a pillow, effectively dismissing him.

He rose from the couch and stood over her for a few minutes.  When she didn't speak, he sighed and left the room.  Something was not right.

.

Eries arrived for a visit the next day, much to Allen's surprise.  They had only just mended things between them and there was still a little bit of awkwardness.  He sent his house keeper, a nice older lady by the name of Luce, up to fetch Celena to the dining room for lunch but she returned saying that the young Miss was still not feeling well and wouldn't come out of her room.  Allen was becoming increasingly alarmed about his sister's mood; and it now seemed that even Eries' presence couldn't bring Celena out of her room.  She had spent most of her time shut up there since returning from her visit with Gaddes' family, a behavior which was unusual for her.  His sister was rarely found indoors, unless she was in the library or in her room sleeping.

Eries asked Allen about Celena when the girl didn't come to lunch.

"She hasn't come out of her room all day.  She claims she's tired from yesterday's activities.  She's been in a sort of depression I think, although she claims that nothing is wrong.  Well, obviously _something is bothering her, but she won't talk to me about it.  Did something happen yesterday?"_

Eries shook her head.  "I don't think so, although she seemed unusually somber on the way home, as well.  Perhaps it would help if I spoke with her?  Sometimes there are things a woman can only talk to another woman about."

Eries had been worried about Celena, herself.  It was, in fact, the reason for her visit.  The ride back to the villa had been quiet and uneventful, and although Eries had sensed some sort of tension between Celena and Gaddes all that morning, she had not really given it much thought.  She figured something had happened the night before, but the younger girl hadn't mentioned anything to her about it.  Eries had noticed her crestfallen look as she had entered the bedroom last night, but she had just thought that Celena had tired herself out and wasn't in the best of moods.  Looking back, she realized there may have been more to it than that.  She didn't share her suspicions with Allen, though.  Goodness only knows what he would do if he thought Celena had been hurt in any way.

Allen gave the princess a grateful smile.  "Of course.  Anything, if it will pull her out of this mood."

After lunch Eries knocked timidly on Celena's bedroom door before entering.  Celena was curled up on the couch with a blanket thrown over her small frame.  She sat up when she noticed Eries coming towards her.

"Mind if I join you?"  

Celena shook her head and Eries took a seat next to the girl.

"Why didn't you come to lunch today?  Are you not feeling well?"

The younger girl sighed and looked down at her hands which were picking at loose threads in the blanket.  It was old and tattered and she should probably throw it away, but it was one of the few remnants from her childhood that her brother had saved from being tossed out.  "I'm just tired."

Eries wasn't getting much further than Allen had; she decided to try a different tactic.  "Celena, if there's something bothering you, know that you can talk to me.  Sometimes it helps to share your problems with someone else."

She was quiet for a minute, debating.  Finally, she spoke.  "I told Gaddes that I love him."

Eries was a little taken back by Celena's frankness.  Though, she had already begun to suspect that Celena had had feelings for Gaddes for some time, she hadn't expected things to have gone this far.  "What did he say?"

"He…doesn't think we should be together.  He doesn't want me."  

She started to cry.  Eries patted her shoulder and handed her a tissue.  "Shh.  Don't cry.  Look, did he say that he didn't want you?"

"Not in those words…but his meaning was clear enough."

"Celena, listen to me.  What exactly did he say to you?"

"He told me I was too young.  He said that he didn't have time for me."

Eries sighed.  "Well, you _are young."  _

Celena nodded and dabbed at her eyes with the tissue.  

The princess smiled sadly.  "Sargeant Gaddes is a good man.  I think he cares about you more than he wants to admit; I've seen the way he is with you, Celena.  He might just be trying to protect you by pushing you away."

"Protect me from what?"

"Well, I daresay Allen wouldn't be very pleased if he found out.  Also, there is your age to consider."

"But Eries, Queen Millerna is my age, and she's been married for awhile now."

"True.  But, perhaps Gaddes doesn't see it that way; I know Allen won't."

Celena sighed.  "What am I to do?"

"Talk to Gaddes, tell him how you feel.  Other than that, there's nothing much you can do.  Just wait, and hope he comes around some day."

"But what about Allen?"

"Don't go repeating this, but your brother can be very hard headed sometimes, Celena.  It's hard to say what he'll think, other than he won't approve.  He may be persuaded to come around, however."  She sighed and brushed a lock of hair behind her ear.  "Men are so difficult," she said, more to herself than to the other girl.__

Celena snuck out not long after hearing her brother's bedroom door close indicating his retirement for the evening.  She had only worn her soft dress slippers so as not to make any noise as she crept through the hallway and down the stairs, but now she regretted it as the coldness seeped through, stinging her toes.  The cold stone of the bench she was seated on was not making matters any easier, but it couldn't be helped; she needed to think, and to think she needed to feel the open air about her.  She pulled her knees a little closer to her chest and tucked the blanket around her feet before pulling her arm back inside the warm cocoon she had created.  Only her face, a pale oval in the moonlight, showed from within its folds.  She tilted her head back a little to examine the sky.  The moon was full and lovely, its brilliance almost entirely obscuring the other blue moon behind it.  Because of the brightness very few stars were visible in the dark sky.  It was all so far away, and it made her feel alone.  She shivered inside the blanket.

The first few days home Celena had remained in her room.  The self-inflicted confinement wasn't pleasant for her, but she couldn't muster the courage to face him so soon; and she knew she would have to eventually.  

After a while, when her excuses ran out, she ventured outside.  Part of her wanted to see him again, for she missed his company.  She didn't like to be alone.  She felt that most of her life must have been spent that way; alone or in the company of strangers.  But, when she did finally decide to wander the grounds of the villa again Gaddes was no where to be found.  Oh, she knew that he was around.  She could feel his eyes on her sometimes and she would turn but no one would be there.  He was watching out for her, but he wouldn't come near again.  It was painful to know that he was avoiding her, to realize that it was her that had driven him away.

The sound of leaves crunching made her glance up.  It was Gaddes.  The moonlight gave his dark hair a bluish tint.  He looked at her for a moment before speaking.  "It's a little late to be out, don't ya think?"

She remained quiet. 

"Well, if you aren't goin' to speak to me the least you could do is shove over a bit so I can sit down."

She scooted to one side of the bench and he immediately filled up the space.  She resisted the urge to lean into his warmth as she had so often done before.  She couldn't help the sudden tears that pooled in her eyes, however, and she let out a little sniffle causing him to look down at her.   

As if he hadn't felt guilty enough, now it seemed that his very presence was enough to make her cry.  He pulled her into his arms and she went willingly, laying her head against his chest.  He let out a deep sigh and absentmindedly began to stroke her hair.  "I'm sorry if I hurt you when I said those things.  It wasn't because I don't care; it's because I do.  But, we aren't from the same mold, you and me.  People like us aren't meant to be together, kid."

"Then why does this feel so right?"

"I don't know."

She pulled back from him to look into his eyes.  "Will you kiss me?"

Gaddes looked at her for a long time.  He was trying to come up a reason why he should say no, but when he looked into her eyes he felt as if he were drowning in them.  "I don't think it's a good idea."

Celena ducked her head to hide her disappointment from him.  She didn't want him to see how much his rejection had hurt her.  Then, she felt his fingers under her chin, tilting her face back up to his.  

"I said I didn't think it was a good idea.  I didn't say I wouldn't do it."  A moment later he lowered his mouth to hers.  The kiss was warm and gentle and over before she knew it.  She pouted a bit when he pulled away causing him to chuckle.

She smiled up at him shyly.  "More?"

"Greedy little thing, aren't you?"  This time when he kissed her it was deeper, harder.  When it was over she was trembling and her heart was pounding in her ears.  She leaned against Gaddes' chest and could hear his own heart beating in response.  She was happy to know that she wasn't the only one that had been affected by the kiss.  

Gaddes took a minute to regain his senses.  How crazy was he to be out here in the open kissing her like that?  It's the very reason he had been avoiding her in the first place.

"What do we do now?"  Celena asked, her voice carrying a note of worry in it.

He let out another deep sigh.  "I can't lie to your brother, Celena.  He trusts me to look out for you, and I feel like I've broken that trust.  I've felt that way for a while, actually; ever since I realized the way my feelin's were headed.  I know it's wrong, but no matter how hard I try to fight against it…I can't help the way I feel."

She pushed away from him.  "You make it sound so horrible…like it's an illness you're trying to avoid catching."

"Dammit, Celena.  I didn't mean it like that."  He ran his hand through his hair in frustration.  "I only meant that the boss won't be happy with this.  I could lose my post here and be sent back to the fort; hell, I could get booted out of the army altogether.  I'm not right for you.  You deserve someone that can give you nice dresses and take you to those fancy balls up at the palace.  I can't be the kind of husband you need, don't you see that?"  He paused, gathering his courage to say what he knew had to be said.  "You're still young; you'll get over it eventually.  Someone new will come along and then you'll forget all about me."

"You can't mean that," she insisted.  "Do you really believe me to be so fickle?  Besides, you haven't even given it a chance.  Why couldn't you have just said 'we'll figure something out.'?  You've always been so encouraging to me, yet you are so quick to give up yourself.  You're not making sense."

"You're the one that's not makin' sense.  Do you realize what you'd be givin' up by tyin' yourself to someone like me?  That's if you're brother doesn't kill me when he finds out."

"Don't be silly; Allen wouldn't…would he?"  She began to look a little doubtful; as well she should to Gaddes' way of thinking.  

"I don't know," he answered honestly.  "I've seen him angry before, and he has excellent control, but sometimes he can get carried away when pushed to extremes."

"Why would he be so angry, though?  I don't understand."  She sounded thoroughly bewildered.  

"I already told you why; I'm not the right kind of person for you."

"You're the _only one for me."_

He sighed, once again taking her in his arms.  She was stubborn, and he could no longer fight his own feelings, despite his better judgment.  "You're the only one for me, too."

AN:   Again, a big thanks and hugs to everyone that has commented on this story so far.  ^_^

This chapter was really hard to write for me.  I ended up revising it a million times, which is why it took a while for me to get it out.  I'm still not sure if I'm entirely satisfied.  Comments and such would be muchly appreciated.  


	5. Part Five

Standard Disclaimer: Escaflowne and it's characters don't belong to me. I'm merely borrowing them. Any other characters are from my own imagination. I only write this stuff for fun, I don't make any money off of it, so please don't sue me.

Awakenings

Part Five

It was snowing when she awoke.  She had been a bit disoriented by the lack of sunlight streaming in between the gauzy fabric of her bedroom curtains and had gotten up to look outside.  It was so peaceful feeling with everything covered in white.  It looked as if a blanket had descended on the world, covering up its scars and making it whole again.  

She glanced at the clock on the wall; it was indeed late afternoon.  She wasn't surprised that she had slept so late into the day because she had stayed up with Gaddes for most of the night.  The two of them had parted reluctantly, only returning to the house a little before dawn when the staff would awaken and begin their duties for the day.

Last night had been full of revelations.  After Gaddes had told her of his feelings for her she had felt as if her heart were soaring.  But nothing had been resolved.  They still had Allen to contend with.  

_How is it possible to feel so happy and so miserable at the same time?_  Celena wondered to herself with a sigh.  

She left the bed and pulled a clean dress out of her wardrobe.  It was a dark violet gown which complimented her eyes while offsetting her pale complexion.  There were little butterflies stitched into the cuffs of the sleeves and around the neckline, which she had thought odd considering it was a heavy winter gown.  But Allen had seemed so happy with his selection, a gift he had given to her after she had recovered from her illness, that she hadn't said anything about it at the time.

She felt guilty for asking Gaddes to wait before saying anything to Allen.  She knew that he hated keeping the truth from her brother but she wanted to tell him herself, she just wasn't sure how to go about doing so.  

In a moment of frustration she threw the gown on the bed angrily and proceeded to strip off her sleeping gown.  Was the rest of her life to be dedicated to pleasing her brother?  He was still a bit of a stranger to her.  If he wasn't ignoring her completely he was fussing over her like a mother hen.  But, he did care for her, and she for him.  In the end, she couldn't bear the thought of disappointing him.

She put on a light linen shift before she picked up the dress off of the bed.  She pulled the gown over her head and carefully buttoned up the dozen or so delicate little buttons that lined the front of the dress from her waist to her chin.  She fretted over the last few; they were under her chin and difficult for her to close without being able to see what she was doing.

There was a light rap on her door.  Worried it might be her brother, she braced herself before answering.  Gaddes stood there.  His eyes softened when they fell upon her.  But then his brow wrinkled in concern when he noticed the distressed look marring her features.

"What's wrong?" he asked, stepping into the room towards her.

She backed up a space and fingered the loose buttons at her throat.  "Everything and nothing."  She threw her hands in the air dramatically.  "And to top it off, I can't do up these damn buttons!"

He laughed without meaning to; the situation wasn't funny but he was glad to let out the tension.  He stepped closer to her and reached out to do up the buttons for her.  Celena lifted her head a little to make it easier for him.  She watched him as he stared intently at her throat while he worked the little buttons into their holes.  She liked watching him.  

"Cursing isn't very lady like," he commented, glancing up into her eyes.  She felt herself flush.

"Sorry.  Don't know where I picked up such language."

He grinned and planted a quick kiss on her forehead.  "You're in a mood today."

She leaned into his body when his arms wrapped around her in a tight embrace.  "You were right last night.  We have to tell Allen," she whispered.  "I don't want to keep this secret.  I want to be able to love you without feeling guilty."

There was a sudden sound from the doorway, something crashing to the floor.  Celena's head snapped up at the sound and her eyes widened with surprise.  Gaddes had a sinking feeling in his stomach.

"Don't turn around.  He looks very angry," she whispered but he ignored her and turned to face the doorway as she clung to the back of his shirt with shaking hands.

Allen was there, a spilled tray of food on the floor at his feet.  Allen finally spoke, his voice cold.  "Celena…go to your room."

Her brow wrinkled in confusion.  "I'm already in my room."

He gestured impatiently towards the hallway.  "Then go to _my room, alright?  Just be quick about it before I say something we'll both regret later on."_

She was hesitant until Gaddes gave her a little push to start her moving.  Allen waited until he heard his bedroom door open and close before continuing.

"How long has this been going on?"

Gaddes sighed.  "I really didn't want to tell you like this."

"Or is it that you didn't want to tell me at all?  Now answer me:  How long have you been using my sister?"

He felt his anger rise at the accusation.  "It's not like that!  I love Celena."

"For both of your sakes, I hope that's true."  He left the room before Gaddes had a chance to say anything more.  He was far too angry to listen to reason.

Allen entered his bedroom.  Celena was standing by the window looking outside.  She turned to him when he called her name.

"Allen.  I don't know what to say right now."  Tears began to track down her face; she didn't try to hold them back.

He pulled her into his arms and tried to soothe her as he had as a small child when she had been stung by a bee.

"Celena…how far have things gone between the two of you?"

It was then that she made the conscious decision to lie to her brother.  If she said that their relationship had gone no further than a few chaste kisses she knew that her brother would send Gaddes away.  He might be lost to her forever.  But, if she told her brother a lie, if she told Allen that she had been with Gaddes, than there was a chance that he would make them marry.  Or not.  But it was a chance she was willing to take.  She was stalwart in her resolution.  She would see this to its end, consequences be damned.  

It was quick ceremony.  The bride and groom, the minister and two witnesses, Allen and his housekeeper Luce, made up the small group gathered in the sitting room.  They declared themselves to each other solemnly as Allen looked on impassively.  Celena glanced up at him often but it was hard to tell what he was thinking.  Then, it was done.  Allen walked from the room without a backward glance and his parting words left her with a hollow feeling.  

"I want you both out of my house by nightfall."

She packed only what she needed and that which she couldn't bear to part with.  In the end it wasn't much; a few of her more practical gowns along with her old blanket that Allen had given her when she had first come home.  She didn't really have much to call her own, after all.  Everything belonged to her brother.

"Are you almost ready?"

She turned to face Gaddes.  He was standing in her doorway with his own bag slung over his shoulder.  She could tell he hadn't packed much either.

He followed her gaze and shrugged.  "I don't really have many possessions; bein' in the army and all you don't really need 'em."

"Oh."

He knew this was hard for her; it was hard for him as well but he wasn't the one losing their only family, being turned out of their own home.  Gaddes didn't know what to do for her, so he just tried to be himself.

"I'm sorry, Gaddes.  I didn't think.  I mean, I did think, but I didn't think about what you would want."

"What are you talking about?"

"My brother…I let him believe that…things…had happened."  Her face reddened.  "That's why he made you marry me.  I've ruined things."

"Allen didn't force me, Celena.  I want us to be together.  I wish the circumstances were different, but that doesn't mean that I don't want to be with you.  You got that?"

She nodded but said nothing in return and her expression remained pensive.

He sighed.  "Wear an extra cloak; it's still snowing pretty good out there."

Alyssann was making a commotion in the kitchen; Genna could hear her sister from the parlor yelling that their brother was outside making his way up to the house.  Genna sighed and walked to the window to see for herself.  It was true.  She felt a tightening in her chest; something was not right.  She knew her brother well enough to realize that he wouldn't have come all the way out here in this weather, and with Celena no less, just for a visit.  She pulled away from the window and ran to the front door.  Lyssie was already there of course, chattering away in her usual cheery fashion as Gaddes took Celena's cloak off and hung it on the coat rack next to his own jacket.  They were both quite wet.  Genna made a mental note to hang them on the drying line by the fire. 

"What has happened?"

Lyssie stopped her chatter and watched as Gaddes turned to Genna, a tired smile forming on his lips.  "Nothin' gets by you, does it, Gen?"

She waited.  He sighed and ran a hand through his hair, brushing snowflakes onto the floor.  "Let us get settled first, then we'll sit down and have a talk."

Gaddes walked past his sisters and up the stairs to the second floor.  Celena followed behind him without a word.

"What's goin' on?" Alyssann whispered to her sister once Gaddes and Celena had disappeared up the stairway.

"I don't know, but I'm sure something is wrong."  She sighed.  "Help me take their coats into the kitchen before the water runs drips onto the floor."

"Is this alright?"

She nodded.  It was the room she had shared with Eries on her last visit.  It had been his parents' room once, he'd told her.  Would he be sharing it with her?  What a silly thought.  They were married now; of course they would share a bed…wouldn't they?

Celena stood there numbly and watched him as he stripped off his damp shirt and tossed it onto the floor.  She swallowed.  She had never seen him like this before.  

"Celena…you'd better get out of that wet dress."  She looked down at herself, but she made no motion to remove the gown.  He sighed and stepped close to her.  She could feel the heat radiating from his body.  Idle thoughts chased themselves around her mind as his hands worked at undoing the rows of buttons down the front of the gown.  Why was Gaddes so warm when she still felt as if she were frozen?  She lifted her arms as he pulled the dress over her head leaving her standing there in nothing but her shift.  His gaze wandered over her form and she shivered in response.  He took a blanket from the foot of the bed and wrapped it around her.  It was a thick wool one and it felt scratchy against her skin, but at least it was warm.

"Feel better?"

Celena nodded.  He seemed satisfied and went to pick up their wet garments off of the floor.  "I'll go down to the kitchen to hang these up and get somethin' to eat for us.  Sound good?"

"Yes."

"Look, everythin's gonna be alright.  Just get some rest and I'll be back in a little while.  I think it best that I talk to them alone first."

"I understand."

Alyssann had a fresh kettle of tea ready when Gaddes entered the kitchen.  He looked tired, as if he hadn't slept well in days.  Genna took the damp garments from him and hung them on the line.  Alyssann then motioned for their brother to have a seat.  She poured him a cup of the hot liquid before joining him at the table.  She wanted to bombard him with questions but she knew Gaddes would talk when he was ready.  She didn't have to wait long.

"Celena and I were married this afternoon."

Whatever Alyssann had been expecting him to say, it certainly hadn't been that.  She glanced at Genna.  Her sister, however, did not appear to be shocked at all.  Alyssann stood abruptly nearly upsetting her teacup in the process.  "I'm sorry.  I don't know what say about this.  I—"  She turned and fled from the room.  Gaddes started to call out to her but she was already gone.

"She'll need some time to get used to the idea," Genna remarked quietly.

"You don't seem surprised, Gen."

"I am…and yet I'm not.  I had a feeling, but I had hoped to be wrong about it.  What happened?"

He let out a loud sigh and rested his head in his hands.  "The inevitable happened."  The whole story came pouring out.  He felt relieved to be able to unburden himself.  "I knew Allen would react this way, that's why I tried to do the right thing and turn her away.  But, I couldn't stand seein' her hurtin'.  Especially knowin' I was the one responsible."

"You must love her very much."

"I do."    

"What about your post?"

"I'll more than likely be reassigned.  For now I'm on temporary leave until they decide what to do with me."  He paused for a minute.  "I've made a mess of things, haven't I?"

Genna reached out to squeeze his hand with her own.  "Get some rest, Brother.  Things will look better in the morning."

AN:  Sorry this took so long to get out.  Part of the delay was because of my system crashing and, unfortunately, taking all of my data with it (including most of this chapter).  I simultaneously cursed my computer and kicked myself in the arse for not backing up my writing as often as I should.  It was actually quite a sight.  ^_^    Needless to say I learned something:  It's hard to kick your own arse.  XDXD

I agonized over this part quite a bit and I'm not sure if everything works.  Feedback would be appreciated.

Oh, and also, I lied again.  This story will be one more part long.  I should be able to wrap up everything by then.  *crosses fingers*


	6. Part Six

Standard Disclaimer: Escaflowne and it's characters don't belong to me. I'm merely borrowing them. Any other characters are from my own imagination. I only write this stuff for fun, I don't make any money off of it, so please don't sue me.

Awakenings

Part Six

Things were not better in the morning.

Gaddes awoke feeling uncomfortably warm.  He twisted about until he was facing Celena.  Her face was flushed red and her hair was soaked and clinging to her head in wet clumps.  There was a slight wheezing sound as she breathed which immediately worried him.  

"Celena?"  He shook her gently to try and awaken her.  Her eyes opened briefly before closing again.  

"It was so hot last night," she murmured.  Her breath caught in the back of her throat throwing her into a fit of coughing which lasted several minutes.  Gaddes did his best to hold her as the coughs wracked her body.  She collapsed into his arms when it was finished looking completely wrung out.

"Why didn't you wake me up if you were feelin' sick?"

"I didn't want to bother you.  I've caused enough of a mess as it is."

He took a deep breath to try and calm his emotions.  He laid her back onto the pillows and smoothed the hair from her brow.  "You're never a bother, Celena."

He started to get up from the bed but she grabbed his hand, stopping him.  "Don't leave me."  She looked so small and fragile laying there among the covers, her large eyes shining with fever.  

"I don't want to leave, but I'll have to go and fetch a doctor.  I'll be back as soon as I can, alright?"

She nodded and let her eyes drift shut once more.

Gaddes reluctantly left the room in search of his sisters.  He found them in the kitchen making breakfast.  The smell of freshly cooked bread caused his stomach to grumble in response.  But there was no time for that now.  He pulled his cloak off the line and began to put it on.

"Where ya goin'?"  Alyssann asked.

"Celena's got a fever.  I need to get the doc.  Will you two keep an eye on her 'til I get back?"

"Of course," Genna replied with a concerned expression.  "It's not anything too serious, is it?"

"I don't know.  She was sleepin' soundly when I came up to bed last night.  I didn't wake her, thinkin' it'd be best for her to get some rest.  But, this morning…  Her temperature seems pretty high.  I think—yeah—it might be serious."

Alyssann could tell that he was reluctant to leave her.  "I'll run and get the doctor," she said.  

"Lyss…are you sure?"

She looked at him for a moment before nodding.  She untied her apron strings and removed it, hanging the garment on a hook on the wall.  "I was shocked when you told us the news last night.  I like Celena, truly I do.  I just don't know how I feel about you marryin' her."  She paused to take a deep breath.  "I know you love her though, so I'll try to understand.  You stay here with Celena.  She'll need you to be by her side."

He gave his sister a quick hug.  "Thanks, Lyss."

She grinned in response and pulled on her cloak.  "No problem.  You'll get a bill for my services later."  She gave him a kiss on the cheek and went on her way.

Genna placed her hand in her brother's and gave it a squeeze.  "Gaddes, I can tell what you're thinking, and it's not your fault."

"I wish I could believe that, Gen."

Her heart wanted to break at the tone of her brother's voice.  He had never sounded so defeated before.  _If this is what love does to a person, than I want nothing to do with it, she thought decidedly.  _

She had come to visit Celena but was solemnly informed by the housekeeper that the young miss had departed with her husband the day before.  So many thoughts and emotions raced through Eries mind in an instant:  shock and disbelief, curiosity, and then a sudden fury directed at Allen.  Something was not right in this house and she had a feeling Allen was at the heart of it all.  She asked to see him and was shown into the parlor to wait for him.  It wasn't overly long before he appeared.  He looked tired.

"What happened?  When I asked to see Celena, Luce said--" she began without preamble.

"Can't you guess, Eries?  You're privy to my sister's thoughts, aren't you?"

She didn't like the biting tone in his voice, but she chose to ignore it until she got to the bottom of things.  "Luce said….Celena was married, and that they left?  Was it Gaddes?  Allen, please tell me what happened."

His eyes flashed angrily.  "I found them together in her bedroom, embracing.  I took appropriate actions."

Her mind was trying to keep up with Allen's logic.  "So they married?  So quickly?  That was a bit overdramatic, don't you think?"

"Celena told me herself that they were lovers.  Her honor was at stake."

"And you, being the honorable knight that you are, have of course married every woman that you've ever slept with."

His face reddened slightly, though whether it was from anger or embarrassment was a little hard to tell at this point.  Eries figured it was probably a little of both.

"You know I haven't—I did propose—well this is hardly the time to bring up such matters.  This is Celena we're talking about.  And she's different," he insisted stubbornly.

Eries resisted the urge to roll her eyes; it wasn't princess-like.  "Where have they gone?"

"I don't know.  Gaddes' home, I assume.  I don't care.  I told them to go.  I don't want them here, Eries."

"Oh, Allen.  What have you done?"

"What have_ I_ done?  They were the ones that betrayed me, Eries."

She let out a frustrated sigh.  "Everything is always about _you, isn't it?"_

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"It means you're being selfish, that's what it means.  Did you even stop to think about what you were doing to her by pushing her away like that?  All Celena has ever wanted from you is your love and approval.  But, you've never been there for her until recently and all of a sudden you think you know what's best for her.  You are so stubborn sometimes."

"No more so than you," he said peevishly.

"I can't talk to you when you're like this.  I'm leaving.  Goodbye, Allen."  She made her way to the exit and paused at the threshold to throw one last comment at him.  "If you had any sense in that thick skull of yours then you'd go and apologize to the both of them and repair the damage you've caused before it's too late."

Eries arrived at Gaddes' house very late into the evening.  The driver of her carriage had wanted to turn back before the roads froze up but Eries wouldn't hear of it.  

When she arrived a surprised Alyssann answered the door.

"Your Highness!"

Eries pulled her cloak a little tighter as a cold breeze passed by.  "May I come in?"

"Oh, yes, of course," Alyssann replied, still in a bit of a daze.  "I suppose you're here to see Celena," she said as she stepped aside to let the princess pass by so she could shut the door behind her.

"Yes.  I wasn't sure that she and your brother were here, actually.  I had a rather rough accounting of things from Allen."

Alyssann took Eries cloak and went to hang it in the kitchen.  Eries followed.

"Would you like something to drink, Princess?"

"No thank you, Alyssann.  Do you think you could let Celena know that I'm here?"

Sher turned to Eries, a worried expression clouding her features.  "I…Celena is really ill with a fever, Princess.  I fetched the doctor this mornin' but she hasn't improved much.  Gaddes is with her upstairs.  He's barely left her side all day."

Eries was quiet as she digested the news.  "May I see her?"

Alyssann nodded.  She led the princess to the bedroom and knocked lightly on the door before entering.  Gaddes and another man, Eries assumed he was the doctor, were in the room.  Gaddes sat next to the bed in a chair.  He rose when Alyssann and Eries came into the room.

"Princess Eries…"

"Hello, Sargeant Gaddes."  She came to stand next to the other man, who was introduced to her as Doctor Keshal.  They stood on the opposite side of the bed from Gaddes.  She looked down at Celena.  Her complexion was pallid and a sheen of sweat glistened on her brow.  She appeared to be sleeping.  The doctor took a cloth from a basin and wrung it out before carefully placing it on her forehead. 

"How is she?"

Doctor Keshal, an older man with thin white hair, answered her.  "Not well at all, Your Highness.  She's been in and out of consciousness all day.  It's the fever, you see."

"Yes, well there must be something causing the fever.  Have you checked for any sign of infection?"

"Of course.  Very astute, Your Highness."

The princess smiled grimly.  "My sister has studied medicine for several years now."

The doctor nodded.  "The problem seems to be in her lungs.  She's having a hard time breathing.  I've been treating the infection with herbs, but they're having no effect."

Eries sighed.  "Gaddes, can I talk to you in the hallway?"  He cast a worried glance towards the bed.  "It will only take a moment."  He nodded and followed her outside the room.

"How did this happen?" she asked him once they were alone.

"She was outside exposed to the elements when she should have been safe at home; hell, anywhere but with me."

Exasperated, Eries tossed her hair over her shoulder and put her hands on her hips.  "I've heard enough self-pity from Allen this afternoon to last me a lifetime.  Don't you start in on it, too."

Gaddes raised an eyebrow in question.  "You saw the boss?"

"Of course, why do you think I came here looking for you two?  As for Allen, he's being pig-headed as usual."

He responded with a grunt.

"I'm going to send a note to my sister explaining about Celena's illness.  She knows many physicians.  Perhaps she can recommend one."

"Thank you."

"You don't have to thank me, Gaddes.  Celena is my friend and I care about her, too." 

Genna felt disoriented when she was awoken by a loud pounding on the front door.  It was, after all, the middle of the night.  And she had apparently fallen asleep on the couch in the parlor again.  Genna vaguely remembered curling up there with a book earlier, even though she hadn't really felt like reading.  The mood in the house was too somber for that.  

She was surprised when she answered the door to find Queen Millerna and several others crowding the doorstep.  The Queen had a determined look on her face, but she smiled in greeting.  Genna showed them in without hesitation.

"I'm guessing that you are Gaddes' sister Genna?"

"Your Majesty…how did you know that?"

"Eries told me all about her visit with you all.  Well, only when I pressed her for details, she never is one to idly gossip…"

One of the men cleared his throat loudly causing Millerna to smile.

"I'm not so subtly being reminded that I'm getting off track.  I've come in response to an urgent message from my sister regarding Celena."

"Oh!  If you wait here, Your Majesty, I'll run and get the princess for you."

Eries was sitting in the far corner of the bedroom embroidering; she hated to be idle.  Gaddes had fallen asleep in the chair beside the bed some time ago.  The doctor had left that evening, having been called away to more urgent business.  The princess looked up from her stitching to glance at the bed.  Celena was sleeping fitfully.  She twisted about in the covers letting out little whimpers.  Eries was just getting up to check on her when the bedroom door opened and Genna walked in the room.  

"Princess," she whispered so as not to disturb her brother, "Your sister has come.  She's waiting downstairs with several others."

Eries closed her eyes for a moment and said a silent prayer of thanks.  "Can you show them up, please?"

Genna nodded and went to get the queen.  

When Millerna came into the room Eries went to her immediately.  Her sister looked well for having been up and traveling most of the night.  She had a determined glint in her violet eyes.  

"Millerna…I'm surprised you came yourself.  But I'm happy you did; thank you."

The queen smiled at her older sister.  "How could you doubt that I'd come?  You so seldom ask for my help, Eries.  Besides, I know how much Celena means to you so we'll do our best to see her well again."

AN:  Thanks again to those that have commented.  It really does mean a lot to get feedback.  It's very helpful in that you guys pick up on things that I've overlooked and keep me on track.  Thanks sooooo much.  *hugs*  

Yes, I realize that part five was rushed…but I really wanted to get through it as quickly as possible so that I could move on to this part.  R and HS and Aerika S. brought up some very good points and I hope I clarified them a bit in this part.

I'm sure some of you out there (not mentioning any names but you know who you are ^_~)  will be happy to know that, yes, the story will go on to at least one more part.  That will definitely be the final part of this fic, unless I decide to do an epilogue of sorts.

Next up:  How does Celena fare under Millerna's care?  Did Eries finally knock Allen off of his high horse?  Can I get any cheesier?  XD


	7. Part Seven

Standard Disclaimer: Escaflowne and it's characters don't belong to me. I'm merely borrowing them. Any other characters are from my own imagination. I only write this stuff for fun, I don't make any money off of it, so please don't sue me.

Awakenings

Part Seven

Once Millerna arrived with her team of physicians, things happened very quickly.  Celena was carefully examined, the doctors consulted one another, and medications were administered.  

Gaddes was relieved when he woke to find Millerna at Celena's side tending her.  Also, grateful; he didn't know how he would ever repay the Queen.

By the evening Celena's fever had almost disappeared.  She still had a terrible cough and the wheezing sound hadn't gone away, although the doctors had assured them that she would be back to normal within a few days time.  Until then she was to stay in bed and drink plenty of water.

Eries left Celena to Gaddes' care, confident that she was on the mend.  Gaddes thanked her again for her help as she was taking her leave.  

The princess smiled grimly.  "Don't thank me yet, Gaddes.  There are still things that I need to see to."

Gaddes, distracted with thoughts of getting back to Celena, took no note of Eries mysterious comment.

Celena patiently waited for Gaddes to return to the room.  His sisters had been hovering over her most of the day.  Just now Genna was reading quietly in the corner while Allysan forced soup on her.  

"Come on, Celena.  Just one more spoonful, then I'll leave ya be.  Promise."

Celena dutifully ate the last little bit.  Although Alyssan had been helping take care of her most of the day Celena noticed the girl's smiles seemed forced at times.  "Are you mad at me?"

Alyssan set the now empty soup bowl on the nightstand before turning back to Celena with a serious expression.  "I can't lie.  I'm not happy that you've managed to rope Gaddes into marriage somehow."

Genna gasped.  "Alyssann!"

"Well it's true.  Now that he has a wife to take care of, what will become of us, Gen?  I don't mean to be rude, Celena, but my brother is not rich.  But I know he'll want to give you the things that you deserve; you bein' a lady and all.  Gen and Hettie and I have been survivin' on what little money our brother sends us each pay.  And even so, Hettie's had to go and take employment.  Maybe I'm bein' selfish, but I don't want to have to scrub floors in the palace kitchen to survive."

Celena felt the tears begin to work their way down her face as she stammered out an apology.  "I'm s-sorry.  I n-never meant to hurt anyone.  I didn't realize…"

Genna advanced on her sister with a look of disbelief.  "How could you, Alyssann?  Apologize to her."

Alyssann felt guilt begin to tear at her insides.  "I'm sorry what I said upset you, but it's the truth," she told the weeping girl on the bed.

Her sister let out an exasperated sigh and turned to Celena.  "Don't you listen to her.  We'll be fine, and besides, nothing is your fault."

Celena continued to cry, no matter how much Genna tried to soothe her.  Alyssann began to think maybe she had been too harsh and also attempted to calm Celena down.

"Just leave her be, Lyssie.  You've said enough already," Genna said irritably.   The exhaustion from the past two days was finally beginning to wear on the both of them, and it was showing through in their tempers.

Gaddes returned to find his sisters arguing and Celena silently crying.  What the hell had happened in those few minutes he'd been gone?  He stepped between his sisters and asked that very question.

Alyssann stammered an apology at him then also started crying.  He turned to Genna but his other sister only shook her head and ushered Alyssann out of the room.  

Gaddes sighed and scratched his head in confusion.

"Maybe it was wrong of me to come here," Celena said from the bed.  "I—I feel like an intruder."

He sat next to her on the bed and reached out to tilt her face up so that she was looking at him.

"What do you want?  Do you want to go back home and live with your brother?  Things happened so quickly.  Maybe you aren't ready yet—"

She interrupted him with a question of her own.  "Do you want me to go?"

He frowned.  "Hell no.  I mean…I just want you to be happy, Celena."

A delicate wrinkle formed on her forehead.  "I'm happy with you, Gaddes.  I love you.  But, I don't want to be a burden.  I can do things…I could get work somewhere or something.  I want to do my share.  I don't want to be helpless anymore."

He smoothed the hair back off her brow.  "You're not helpless.  I don't like the idea of you workin', but I guess that's your call and not mine."

She blinked.  "I can make my own decision?"

He didn't mean to laugh at her, but the look of dismay that crossed her face was just so priceless. Didn't she realize…?  Maybe she didn't.  "Of course you can.  You always have made your own decisions, kid."

"I have?" she asked uncertainly.

Gaddes nodded.  "Who was it that bargained with Allen for the chance to visit my sisters?"

She smiled softly.  "I did that."

He grinned, warming up to the topic.  "Who was it that convinced the princess to come along?"

Celena's face pinked slightly.  "I didn't convince her; I merely asked and she accepted."

"Still, she wouldn't have come if you hadn't asked," he pointed out before continuing, his tone softened.  "Who was it that kissed me, and told me she loved me?"

"It better have been me," she said jokingly to cover her embarrassment.  The way he was looking at her was doing funny things to her.  The fluttering in her chest seemed to have reached an all time high and she felt that she might pass out or even just float away.  She closed her eyes and took a deep breath to try and control the giddiness.  It helped, but she made the mistake of looking up at him again.  He looked so serious; his gaze was intense and she couldn't break away this time.

"And who was it that was so determined to be with me that she lied to her own brother?"

"You know it was me," she whispered.

He moved his hand to cup the side of her face, smiling gently when she leaned into his touch.  His thumb brushed across her mouth and she closed her eyes only to feel his lips against her own a scant second later.

When he pulled back he was pleased to note the bemused expression on her face.  

She sighed contentedly and rested her head on his shoulder.  His hand came up to brush through her hair absently.

"Will it always feel this way?" she asked softly.

"No, I don't think it will."

Startled, she pulled back to look at him.  He grinned and then gave her a little wink.  "Sometimes it will feel a whole lot better."

Celena felt the heat rush to her face once again.  "Gaddes!"  When he laughed she halfheartedly tried to shove him off the bed.

That was the sight that greeted Genna and Alyssann when they walked into the bedroom a few seconds later.  Genna smiled, happy to see her brother back to his old self.  Alyssann was nervously pulling at the hem of her apron.  "Celena, I'm sorry.  I shouldn't have said those things.  Sometimes I open my big mouth before I think about what it is I'm sayin'"

"That's alright.  Please don't apologize.  You were only saying how you felt, after all."

"I still feel awful.  I didn't mean to make you cry."

Celena flushed.  "I'm a bit overdramatic sometimes," she admitted.

Alyssann laughed, feeling relieved.  "Me, too."   She leaned down and embraced the other girl.  "Welcome to the family, Sister."

The pale girl felt tears forming in her eyes as she hugged her new sister back tightly.  "I think I'll like having sisters."

She thought for a minute that he might refuse her entrance given the way she had treated him on her last visit.  But Eries was shown into the parlor with all the respect due her station.  Allen was already there, waiting.

He sighed wearily.  "Come to be my conscience again?"

Eries walked towards him, her steps echoing in the room from the hard wood floor.  "I just came from Gaddes' house.  Your sister was ill," she said quietly.

Allen tensed slightly, but his face remained impassive.  "Is she alright?"

She turned away from him to carefully consider how to word her answer.  She knew Allen, perhaps better than anyone, and she knew what to say to him to get the response she wanted.

"I suppose I should have sent word.  She was very sick; she very well could have died.  Would you have cared at all?"

Suddenly, she felt his hand on her shoulder, turning her to face him.  

"Is that what you think of me, then?  You, my oldest friend, think I am so unfeeling?"

She sighed.  "Allen, you know that's not true.  Of course you have feelings.  Perhaps you have too many feelings; you get so caught up in them that it's hard to get through to you sometimes."

He pulled her into a tight embrace burying his face in her hair at her shoulder.  She was surprised by his actions and stood stiffly in his arms for a moment before relaxing.

"I don't want to lose her, Eries.  I can't go through that again," he whispered, his breath warm against her ear.

"Then why did you send her away?"

"I think I was afraid.  Having her back means so much to me, but I don't know how to….I don't know."

His answer surprised her; it had always been hard to get him to talk about his emotions.  In some ways he was still a child and as much as she loved him she knew that she could never be with him until he finished growing up.  It was times like these, however, that made it hard for her to remember the promise she had made to herself.

She gently disentangled herself from his arms.  "You should go to her."

"Eries…"

She turned away from him again, unable to bear his intense gaze.  "Don't.  Don't say whatever it was you were going to say.  Go to your sister, because she needs you now."  Things were quiet but then she heard him moving out of the room.  She didn't turn around until she heard the front door close.  _Allen_, she thought, _I know you'll do the right thing_.

Genna knocked lightly on the door before entering.  She immediately apologized for intruding when she saw that Celena wasn't alone.  Gaddes was with her still, sitting on the edge of her bed spoon feeding her dinner.  "Celena, your brother is downstairs."  

Her face betrayed her every emotion:  fear, excitement, worry, sadness; they all flashed across her features.

Gaddes gathered her into his arms and held her close, tucking her head under his chin.  "You have to make up with him sooner or later."

"I know," she said with a sigh.  She pulled away slightly to look at the girl standing in the doorway.  "Please send him up."

It wasn't long before the door opened again and Allen stepped in the room.  It felt as if she hadn't seen him for months, when in reality it had only been a matter of days.  He looked about as tired as she felt.  Perhaps things hadn't been well with him either.

Gaddes started to get up saying he would leave the two of them alone.

"No, wait."  He sighed.  "I want to apologize to the both of you.  I acted rashly before, causing needless pain in the process.  I'm sorry for that."

Celena's eyes began to fill up with tears.  "Allen, I never meant for things to turn out the way they did, either.  I only wanted to be happy, but I didn't want you to be disappointed in me.  I didn't know what to do."

"You could have trusted me," he commented.

She nodded, wiping the tears from her face.

"I was more upset at the fact that you had been keeping such a thing a secret from me than I was at realizing there was a relationship between the two of you.  Two of the people that I trust most in the world didn't trust me at all.  Can you imagine how I felt?"

"Do you hate me now?"

He looked shocked for a minute before his expression gentled.  "Of course not.  I was angry, and understandably so, but I could never hate you, Celena."

"Boss, I'm sorry.  I guess I didn't think you'd trust someone like me to take care of your sister."

"I can't say that you are the ideal person that I had in mind for her, but since the two of you are obviously in love …it's not my place to deny anyone's happiness.  I've trusted you with my life, Gaddes; I'll trust you with hers also."

Gaddes nodded.  "I won't disappoint ya, boss."

"See that you don't.  I suppose I don't have to remind you that I'm rather handy with a sword," Allen said.

Celena blanched but Gaddes only laughed, causing her to look at him as if he lost his mind.  

"Boss, you have a warped sense of humor."

Celena gasped.  "Allen has a sense of humor?" 

Her outburst caused Gaddes to go into another fit of laughing, which in turn set her to giggling.  

Allen sighed and tried to remain dignified.  "When you two are finished mocking me perhaps we can finish up with this apologizing business?"

Carefully, she slid from the bed and went to her brother.  She wrapped her arms around him and felt him return the embrace.  

AN:  First off, I'd like to apologize for the amount of time it took for me to get this last chapter out.  Even though I know how I wanted it to end, for some reason writing the conclusion is always the hardest part for me.  Also, I will sheepishly admit that I got sidetracked by Fruits Basket.  ^^;;;

A warm thanks goes out to everyone that has reviewed this story.  The reviews were helpful and very much appreciated.  *hugs*

A quick note for those of you that have read 'Finding Her Roots':  That fic is in the process of being revised.  I don't know how long it will take, but it will eventually be finished, with a complete make-over.  For updates feel free to check out my bio, or my fic log (link is in my bio.)


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